Moving in with the person you love might sound like a dream, but the harsh reality tells a different story. In fact, a lot of couples are very clear about the difficulties they’ve experienced – and continue to experience – when they decided to share a home. There’s no point beating around the bush. When you’ve spent time living on your own, it’s naturally tricky to adjust to the compromises of cohabitation. Sure, you’ve got someone who can open the jar of pickles for you, now, but what about the everyday challenges of life as a tandem? That’s precisely because it’s such a vast topic that it deserves more than one article. Here’s Number Two of the cohabitation dilemmas.
A sum up of the previous article
What have we learnt previously about sharing a home with your partner? Everything comes down to choices and space and time management. First of all, from the moment when you decide to pick a location – unless one of you has a home already – to trying to fit in all your outfits in one wardrobe, you will get to understand the meaning of the word compromise fully. Etymologically, the word means to promise together; psychologically, it feels more like losing together, on space in the wardrobe and time in the bathroom.
The furniture you can’t keep at home
Contrary to the common belief, moving in together doesn’t save you costs in furniture, because, if you’ve been living on your own before, it’s likely you’ve already got all the furniture you need. You may not want to get rid of your student desk or your old chair for sentimental reasons. But ultimately, having everything double means that you need to either sell the unused furniture or find a secured local self storage solution to keep them until you decide what to do. And this goes without mentioning the main issue, which is: how do you choose which pieces of furniture to keep?
A game of brushes: decorating
If your landlord allows you to decorate the house, or if you become homeowners, you’ll discover a new side to your partner’s taste. It doesn’t always match yours. Surprisingly enough, you’re not enough with these worries as most couples tend to argue about decoration over money. Needless to say, you can’t blend two interior styles effortlessly together. Your partner’s things may not blend in with yours, for a start. Or if you both decide to comprise on basic pieces, your interior becomes dull and lifeless. In other words, it takes a lot of skills, patience and an eye for design to create a space that works for both of you.
You invited who for dinner?
Sure, it’s your home as much as his. But does that mean he can invite whomever he wants without warning you first? You might find his family coming for the weekend or his friends popping around to watch TV and have a beer. There’s a balance to reach here, and the only way forward is communication. Plan together if you want to move forward.
Ultimately, when you share a space, you learn to deal with each other’s preferences and lifestyle. It’s a game of fine balance to make it work, and despite what you hear about the challenges of living together, it’s still worth the effort!