Firstly, Happy New Year to you all! I hope you had a super lovely Christmas (it goes too fast doesn’t it?!). I have something a little different on the blog for you today, instead of me babbling on, I’ve invited fellow blogger Abi from Abi Bumbles (go check it out!) to share her top tips on living with a husband.
So, without further ado..
I’m Abi and I got married this year. I live with a human male called Chris. He’s lovely, hence the marriage. We’ve been living together for most of our 5 year relationship. We’ve gone from tiny house to a home we own, from a pet bonsai tree and ‘no pets allowed’, to two doggies and mortgage. I think it’s going pretty well.
Writing advice for how to live with someone is difficult. Writing advice for how to live with someone after you’re married is even more difficult – we all have different expectations. But here I go, telling you how to live your life, so I guess you should shut up and enjoy it.
Buy Them Flowers
Yes, I buy my husband flowers. Flowers are nice and the gesture has a lot of meaning. My recommendation to anyone in a relationship, male or female, is to take a moment every now and again to do the cheesy romantic gesture. It’ll get a shy and appreciative smile out of anyone.
Have Conflicting Opinions
And don’t be afraid that you have them. I’m not talking all-out war over which biscuit is best. I’m talking healthy debates about film,s books and politics. Learning how to disagree and empathise with conflicting opinions here will help when it comes to your relationship.
Learn To Be Honest
Stop pretending you don’t fart. Forget to wear makeup. Express your love for mounds of garlic. Whatever gross bits of being human you’ve been hiding, it’s about time you admitted to. There should be no mysteries at this point.
This extends to honesty about how you feel as well. Have they made you feel bad? Are you worried about growing apart? Are you sick of being the only one who walks the dogs? Then say something before it turns to resentment. You might think it’s peacekeeping but not letting it get sorted while it’s a small issue will just let it grow into a monster.
Have Your Own Group Of Friends
When you’ve been together for years, it’s natural that you start to hang out with the same people, but I urge you to find at least one friend who knows you without the extra person attached. It matters for variety, for your sanity and for having stuff to talk about. It also removes the danger of become so entwined and co-dependent that you won’t have a clue who you are if something happened to your relationship.
This might seem obvious, but sometimes you spend so much time together that you assume they know everything you do. It’s also crucial to keeping in touch with each others feelings and day-to-day loves and hates. So, chat, even if it’s just about the TV show you’re watching without them.
Spend Time Apart
This can be alone or with other people, and sort of links into having your own friends. Time alone is something that most people crave, even if it’s just different rooms in the same house. Don’t neglect your need for quiet time with you. If you didn’t notice, you’re pretty cool, so hang out a bit.
Be Their Champion
They want to focus on being the first person to do a full play through of the new Final Fantasy game? Get your pom poms out. You want to take up boxing? Get them to help you pick out your gloves.
In everything you do, you should have support from your other half, even if the idea is stupid. And vice versa. It’s a sign of faith in their dreams and their abilities. You don’t have to agree blindly if you foresee issues, but encourage them to go for that new job, support them in their new hobby, and chat to them about games you don’t play or understand. They’d do the same for you.
There you have it. I’m no therapist and I’ve not even been married a year yet, but these are things I think are important. How many of you are buying flowers from Tesco tonight?